I recently took my daughter to the Store Which Shall Not be Named to look for Halloween costumes.

We got off to a rocky start because I was already feeling negative about the whole thing. Halloween is one of those holidays that has been totally hijacked by big business. When I was a kid it was really bare bones (ha, no pun intended), and you know what, I think it was more fun that way. The only decoration we had was a jack o’lantern, the candies I brought home were pretty basic (and there were often peanuts and apples mixed in there too), and our costumes were almost entirely home-made or assembled out of old stuff we found in the back of our closets.

Here’s me, as a cat:

I think it’s the costumes that depress me the most. As Sarah and I wandered around the Store Which Shall Not be Named I bubbled with frustration. I’m attending a costume party this year and I have nothing to wear, and judging by what’s out there right now it seems as though my choices are limited to (a) things that are overly sexified (sexy viking, sexy barmaid, sexy vampire, sexy nurse, sexy teacher, sexy superhero, sexy She-Ra and Edward Scissorhands … the list goes on!) or (b) totally ridiculous and embarrassing. Is there not something in between?

It’s even harder to dress tweens and avoid making them look like sexy little witches and cheerleaders. Whatever happened to Halloween being about scary stuff? Gah. I guess sex sells, but I can’t help but he disappointed.