I almost bought this book on UsedVic then realized it wasn’t written for new parents…Darn!

My little boy Grayson is turning 6-months-old next week and I think I’m in shock over how quickly it has all gone. As my friend Anita said yesterday “Where is the pause button?” It got me thinking about how overwhelming it can be as a new mom in those first 6 months and how thankful I am for my mom friends who were there for me, giving me such good advice. My favourite advice came when my little man decided it was time to inaugurate me into the official mommy club by pooping on me. I had been forewarned by my friends with kids that this would eventually happen; I just didn’t know when or how. Here’s how it all went down:

I was attending my best friend’s four-year-old’s birthday party so I’d gotten a bit dolled up and wore my favourite TAN skirt and my BRAND NEW tank top. I was bouncing my little bundle of joy on my lap while chatting with friends when suddenly I heard the familiar sound, “Toooooooooooooot.” Now, something you should know about my son: He hates getting dirty and so he always lets me know right away when he’s pooped by crying (this is actually a hereditary trait passed down from his father who also hates all things messy…and may also sometimes cry about it.  Tee-hee). As he was still happily cooing, I assumed this was just gas…Oh how I was wrong!

Look how happy and totally unaware I am of what is about to happen! Though, the look on my son’s face makes me think he knew!

I smelled something all too familiar, so I lifted up my son to find myself covered in bright neon orange nastiness!  Obviously the bouncing motion had helped move the mess from the bottom of the diaper and gradually squished it up his back, allowing it to billow out of his pants and all onto me!

I quickly passed my son to his father, who held him about 3 feet away from his body (remember his fear of things messy) while I grabbed a bunch of wipes (about 100, I think) and began wiping what I could from Grayson and my clothing. After changing my son and sarcastically thanking my husband for his help, I looked down to find my skirt and shirt still stained bright orange. Luckily, I was surrounded by parents who gave  helpful hints on how get these stains out for good.

This made me think of some of other helpful hints – the kind you won’t find in the parenting books you read for 9 months. This is advice I’ve received from my veteran parent friends since having a baby and so I thought I would pass them along to brand new parents out there.

1. When (not if) you get baby poop on your clothes, immediately wipe it with cold water. Then when you get home, fill up a sink with cold water only and let these clothes sit in there for DAYS. Each day rub the material together to release some of the stain until you can no longer see it and then throw it in the regular wash. This saved my favourite skirt.

2. If you’re carrying your baby around in a car seat and he’s crying, lift the car seat straight up in the air and back down several times and this will usually stop him from crying. I think it just confuses them more than anything.

3. If you have to give your baby liquid medicine with an eye dropper, blow on their face as soon as you have feed them the medicine.  The blowing triggers an automatic response to swallow so they won’t spit it back up in your face. This works till they are about 6 months (I tried it recently and no luck!)

4. Do not change your newborn baby on anything you do not want to throw away. I.e. Your couch or the quilt your great grandma just made for the baby. Their first few stinkers come out as sticky black tar and nothing, I mean NOTHING, gets these stains out.

5. Don’t bother buying a ton of either newborn or 0-3 month size clothing as your little one will grow out of them before you have time to blink.  We seriously have 20 outfits he never had a chance to wear.

Finally, the best advice I received from my friends is this: When you are totally sleep deprived, haven’t showered in 4 days and are sick of wearing the “Eau De Parfum Baby Spit Up”,  just remember that this is all TEMPORARY. So try to relax and enjoy every second watching your precious baby grow.

Hope these tips help and remember you WILL get pooped on so just laugh it off and hope you’re somewhere near a sink.